Tuesday, March 4, 2008

What?? Am I losing my hair now??

This morning I was getting ready for work and blow drying my hair when I noticed a bunch of hair in my hand and when I looked closer it looked like it had sort of broken off at the roots. I have never experienced this ever and I was sort of freaking out while looking at quite a bit of hair entertwined between my fingers and in my brush. I just got my hair highlighted a few days ago so I guess it could be from that but I've had my hair highlighted many times before and this has never happened. So, now I'm worried that this is from stress. Is this a symptom of loss? I thought I'd gone through loss before with the infertility and being so depressed and angry and all the other emotions that went along with that but God helped me through that and I have moved onto peace with the loss of my fertility. But now the loss of this baby girl that we thought we were going to be bringing home - it has been difficult and yes I've cried over it, but is it harder on me on a subconcious level that I have even realized? And how long will this go on for? I really have no answers - but I know I don't want to be losing my hair. I guess it is a wake up call to be taking care of myself better than I have been recently. I don't know it's just so hard to know what to hope for next. We go to meet with our sw tomorrow again and we finally read the first chapter in the book she gave us tonight. I guess the biggest thing we can take away from it for now is that we hope to learn to be content, well adjusted adults if only for our future children.

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